I often hear the question among young local pagans: Do we have any elders? If so, who and where are they?
The Seattle pagan community does include people whom many consider "elders." They are out there running their covens and doing their thing. Some are still visible and accessible -- although these days, for many it takes an introduction to meet them. Many are a tad skittish about opening their circles to new people. After having been burned once or more than once for sticking their necks out, many refuse to do it any more.
I have found that if you become a pagan leader around here, you might as well pin a target to your back. You become a scapegoat for people's lack of satisfaction with the community -- whether it's some person's specific behavior or how the latest big ritual went, it somehow becomes all your fault! People say they want public events, some form of leadership and organization. But when someone attempts to provide it, that person hears not "Good job, thanks for your effort!" but "I didn't like this..." or "You're doing it wrong. Do it like this...." You hear complaints and bitching, without any offer of help to back it up. My philosophy of running any organization is: If you have a suggestion on how to do it better, work with me to implement it. I won't do the work for you. You've got to get your own hands dirty.
If you want to organize things around Seattle, I say pin the target to your back. Not only will you hear plenty of bitching, but you'll also need to watch out for what you don't hear.
If you have serious detractors, my experience is they won't be up-front and communicate about what's bothering them. They'll talk behind your back, try to discredit you and rally people against you. It doesn't seem anyone is immune, no matter what their ethics, how much they know, or how much time and work they have put in. No one is ever happy with what you do.
Ask me, ask Pete Pathfinder Davis, ask any of the Seattle area elders who have put themselves out there for very long. There are a few exceptions to the rule. Leon Reed is one of the people whom I respect most and hold in highest esteem. I have never known him to be at the center of a controversy. If it happened, I missed it! But he is the exception.
In a few weeks, my high priest and I begin a new Sylvan Tradition outer-grove class. I have been teaching this trad in the Seattle area for more than 15 years now. According to some people in the pagan community, I am a pagan elder (how I can be that old?!). I rarely attend public events any more, let alone host them, and I don't think much about my past notoriety. I don't think much about other pagan elders, unless they happen to be my friends.
But my former lurid reputation, and the witch wars of old, were brought to mind recently when I ran into a couple "pagan community elders" in the local sex-positive community, in which I have also been active for the last 20 years. In the past, these women have both privately and publicly dissed me for participating in the sex-positive community. Now they are card-carrying members themselves.
You'd think that they'd maybe apologize -- say they were wrong for attempting to lead a public crusade against me over something they ended up doing themselves? But no. Nada, nothing. No acknowledgement, no apology, nothing mentioned, as if it had never happened. If either of these people had come directly to me in the past, I'd have less of an issue with their behavior. But it was always behind my back. If either of them came to me now with an apology, I'd be happy to accept it and let it go. But I guess these people think that if they act as if it never happened, it didn't. How childish is that?
Let's all grow up a little, shall we?
If you'd like elders in your community, support them. Don't just bitch about public rituals -- if you don't like them, step up to help fix them.
And if you are an elder, or a long-time community member with some pull, act like one. If you have an old issue with someone, make it your business to put it to rest, and if those people are not around, do a little forgiveness meditation in which you picture them and say whatever you need to say to make things right. This will make you feel a lot better, and the energy will filter to them, wherever they are.
Let's make our elders proud of their creation. Let's make it a safe space to be a teacher, a mentor, even an organizer. Let's make it easy for the new pagans and students coming into the community to find resources and teachers. And let's respect and preserve our elders, for without them we would not be here now. Creating peace and harmony starts with you!
Copyright © 2006 by the article's author