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by Kathie Dawn
When it comes to money, my needs are simple but well-defined. I want a warm, dry bed behind a locked door. That requires the ability to pay rent, and I have used magick to aid my quest to do so.
There was a time when I took the basics -- food, water, clothing and shelter -- for granted. For most of my life, my list of needs included things like cable TV, Internet access, movie tickets and new clothes. Two years ago, I lived in a nice two-bedroom apartment, drove a car that was nearly paid off and never had to track how much I spent at the grocery store. My husband had a stable, well-paying position, and I stayed home, surfing the net or swimming in the pool.
However, following an eruption of physical abuse and our hasty separation, my economic outlook spiraled downhill. After being a homemaker for several years, I found it difficult to find a job. My current husband and I started living together, and by the skin of our teeth we managed to pay rent in places I would never have considered in my earlier life.
It feels as if one day I was Mrs. Average Housewife USA and the next day I was homeless. If a financial downturn like this can happen to me, it can happen to almost anyone.
In my new life, one of my top concerns is staying off the streets. I concentrate on shelter because food, water and clothing are easier to obtain in this city than a home. There is a saying on the streets that you would have to be stupid to starve in Seattle. Several food banks serve my zip code, and two agencies provide free clothing once a year. I figure if you have a place to stay, it will have running water.
The shelter I have is not really an apartment, more like a room. We have an old, tiny sink in the corner, and our kitchen consists of a small refrigerator and microwave. Everyone on our floor shares the toilet at the end of the hall, which doesn't always work; the shower is just past that. I mention the nature of this shelter to illustrate the irony of struggling to pay rent for it.
The issue of rent took greater prominence when I was laid off in January. My new husband has multiple sclerosis, and it is up to me to keep the roof over our heads.
Then, within two weeks of being laid off, I was sexually assaulted in a grocery store parking lot. The man never achieved his objective, but I got knocked around. I made a report to the police, but cases such as this often go unsolved. After the assault, I felt as if every strange man on the street was a potential attacker. I had put similar events earlier behind me with therapy. Now the old fears resurfaced, and I felt safer behind my locked door.
Two things really helped during that period after the assault. I talked about the incident with some good listeners, and I talked about it with the Goddess, burning incense to carry my words into the universe. I visualized the event over and over in my mind, over time standing up for myself and fighting the man off. Finally, just one look from me would make him wet his pants and run away.
Once I could face going out, I addressed my money situation again. First, I needed to figure out the best practical methods for finding a job. Second, I needed to do spell work to enlist the aid of the gods, because I not only wanted a job, I wanted a career that would be satisfying, long-lasting and recession-proof. With all the recent layoffs, there is lots of competition in my areas of experience.
I started approaching both goals the same way. At a couple of nearby bookstores, I spent a few hours reading about the best new ways to write résumés and cover letters. I also looked over some books on candle magick and incense. It is a goal to own those books; for now, I just browse.
Back at home, I lit a green candle and visualized a paycheck, imagining how good it would feel to be paid for an honest week's work. As the candle burned, I worked on revising my résumé.
On the practical end, I got a friend who has worked in human resources to coach me on those crazy interview questions. "What do you consider your strengths? Weaknesses?" We practiced and built up my confidence. For word processing and e-mail, I turned to the computers at the public library and the YWCA. At the Y, they also have a fax machine available in the employment center.
Every Sunday, I purchased the newspaper for the classified ads. The ads for jobs for which I was qualified formed my to-do list for the week. Many jobs requested a cover letter and résumé sent via fax, e-mail or snail mail. Mondays, Tuesdays and occasional Wednesdays, I would head to the YWCA and provide just that. My philosophy was to put out as many résumés as possible.
To back up these practical measures, I periodically did ritual when I felt discouraged or needed a boost of energy. As a solitary witch, all I needed was the desire and a peaceful bit of time alone.
The basics of my personal rituals include casting a circle, inviting the elements, invoking the Goddess and the God, giving Them thanks and honor, making any requests or doing special things like blessing an amulet or other spell craft, having cakes and wine, thanking everyone for coming and opening the circle. The structure is not complicated or set in concrete.
For cakes and wine, I have been known to use granola and chocolate milk, raisin bread and wine coolers and even chocolate walnut fudge and Hennessy brandy. The will and intent are more important than using the "right" tools.
When I do ritual, I pay particular attention to the phase of the moon. When She is waxing, or growing, I work for growth in my finances. When She is waning, or shrinking, I banish poverty from my life.
The incenses I burn are an important element to my magick. Knowing that I could not afford a vast selection of scents, I used The Complete Book of Incense, Oils and Brews by Scott Cunningham to decide what I needed.
The incense most frequently mentioned in that book in association with money is cinnamon. Others include pine and frankincense. Having decided on using these three ingredients, I shopped around and found my wishes at Edge of the Circle Books and Travelers.
At home, I did a ritual cleansing and dedicating of my new supplies. I also ate cinnamon toast as a tasty way to attract money directly to me.
Besides magick, I used divination in my quest. Most witches have a divinatory tool they prefer to work with -- mine is runes. The runes help me see things I might have missed. During ritual, and at other times, I pull runes to see what the Goddess would have me know.
At the beginning of my job search, I was reminded to take advantage of the moment and follow my instinct. The runes advised me to face my destiny with total trust. Facing my destiny in my new living space includes checking for needles before stepping into the shower and taking the back stairs because the SWAT team is doing a drug raid in front. A sense of undergoing experiences to gain knowledge and compassion is invaluable at these times.
The runes also admonished me to not suffer over my suffering. Every day, I am reminded my life is not that bad when I see a form huddling beneath a blanket on the sidewalk or a person sitting on the corner with a hat held out for change.
As the late winter weeks passed, I went on interviews, and with each one my skills improved. But in the end the employers always "selected another candidate." I started to get depressed, wondering how long it would take to start bringing in money. I missed several weekly rent payments, but by the Goddess's blessing was not evicted. Still, I did not know how much longer I could go on without paying.
Then, in February, I was sexually assaulted again. I knew the incident affected my spirit, but I was in denial. My husband was out of town for nearly all of February; I missed his companionship and support. In early March, this was capped by being tossed in a food processor for 40 seconds -- my first earthquake.
I was stretched taut as a rubber band. I turned to my runes again, and the message punched right through to my heart. "A sense of futility may overwhelm you. Clear the blockages of your spirit to allow energy to flow freely through you."
I decided I needed to change my magickal approach and really get down to basics. Food, water, shelter and clothing are not the essential needs of life. When you get right down to it, love is the most essential thing.
Life extends beyond the needs, wants and desires of this physical body. I realized that if I did not have a place to stay, I would still be alive. If I lived on the streets, I would still be alive. Even if I got killed on the streets, I would still be alive. Who I am -- my spirit -- would still exist. The only thing I need, that my spirit craves and must have to thrive, is love. The universe, as I experience it, exists as a finely woven tapestry of love.
I meditated on these thoughts, visualizing the love between the Lord and Lady and Their love for me. I meditated on the love between my husband and me. Opening myself to love, I remembered my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends and teachers -- everyone who loves me now, and everyone who has loved me in the past, because love is timeless.
All the so-called negative things in my life cannot affect me negatively in the long run. They're like a challenging class: "Today's subject is earning money and paying rent. You will be required to write a 10-page essay on earning money and watch a movie and write a report about it. For extra credit, give an oral report about the conditions under which you live, and how you will keep them from dimming your optimism."
As Albert Einstein said, "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
Taking all this to heart, I did not give up. I broadened my efforts on the practical plane by signing up with a couple of temporary agencies. Within a week, I was given a position with a company globally known for the good things it does. The position is open on a permanent basis, and I have applied for it. Either way, I am reasonably assured I will continue bringing in a paycheck.
A social service agency helped me catch up on my rent, so I have avoided eviction.
I am at peace within myself and with the world at large, allowing love to flow freely through me.
Did magick help pay the rent? The way I see it, I am paying the rent now, and the magick definitely helped, so it is fair to say magick helped pay the rent.