In Christianity, especially in the Roman Catholic tradition, ordination into the priesthood is recognized as the consummation of a Sacred Marriage. In this union, the God (Christ) is the suitor. Though an aspirant may train for the priesthood, he can not earn it. Regardless of qualifications, one must be "called" and "chosen." Willingness and desire for the union are usually present, though many "marriages" are "arranged," or possibly preordained divinely, just as royal marriages may be in earthly courts and families, and for the same reasons.
Regardless of the route taken to the priesthood, the aspirant, if accepted, becomes what is termed the "Bride of Christ." Vows are made by the bride (with none by the groom). The bride receives the groom's ring (which both circumscribes and empowers). In the Roman tradition and many others, the bride is collared, as well. In secular life through the ages, the collar has marked a slave, owned by the Lord. The priest gives himself as a gift, all of himself. The ceremony pretty well defines the relationship from the start. This ceremony is nonnegotiable. Without the bridal ceremony, no one becomes a priest -- not for love, money, hell or high water. After the honeymoon, the newly ordained "bride" slips into the pecking order of the Sacred Harem (the priesthood), with power and favor accruing most generally as a result of how well the Master is pleased.
All brides are expected to honor their sacred vows. Usually, four or five vows are administered. These vows are considered marital obligations, and violations are punished not only physically, but with denial, dismissal and ostracism, as well. It is not common to see flogging, stoning or burning at the stake as physical punishments in the Christian churches of the day (though many such practices are common even today in Islam), but such physical disciplines as kneeling for long periods, fasting, abstinence and silence are often meted out as spiritual penance for transgressions in today's Christian churches and seminaries.
The vows themselves reflect the status of many brides of mundane marriages in patriarchal cultures. The vow of Poverty prohibits the bride from owning anything. The vow of Chastity requires the bride to remain pure and unadulterated. The vow of Humility marks the bride's place at the Master's feet in postures of supplication and adoration. The vow of Service obligates the bride to attend to the Master's needs, whatever they may be, before all else. The vow of Obedience subjugates the bride's will to that of the Master.
Vows taken in Sacred Marriage are contractual obligations that may not be dissolved without consent. If we follow the analogue of the priest-bride by examining the responsibilities of the bride to her Lord, we must consider that her spiritual mate dwells on another plane. The obligations of a bride to such an absentee Lord might seem to be diminished by distance, or limited to spiritual ministrations. Surely a Lord would have fewer needs to be serviced if not present in the flesh (as is the case in most Sacred Marriages of the priestly genre). One might expect that the bride could have a bit of a holiday, like Penelope, with little to do but pine for Odysseus and remain chaste. Yet Christ, through Jesus, tells His Queen (Simon Peter), not once, but three times: "If you love me, feed my sheep." Obviously, Penelope needed to feed the sheep as well, and I'm sure she did. The transcendental experience of a divine union still comes with the commitment to chop wood and haul water, as in the Buddhist saying. The duties of a priest are not only spiritual, but physical as well. The priesthood is responsible for maintaining the temple, be it the stone edifice or the living temple of the worshipper.
In Sacred Marriage, the "Bride of Christ" gains power in the household of the Master, but the power comes with responsibility. The bride is expected to nurture and serve the Master's children, friends, slaves, dogs, sheep, chickens, horse and house. In short, the marriage is between the priesthood and the so-called "Mystical Body of Christ."
This mystical body is the aggregate of all things that host the "Spirit of Christ." In practice, this tends to be envisioned in terms of followers, or congregations. The priesthood is expected to minister to the needs of the Master by feeding His sheep (the congregation). Most successful churches provide more than a rich diet of words, a bit of bread and occasional wine or juice. Many have huge social service, teaching and missionary ministries.
But the focus of this discussion is not what "churches" do for the Master, but what a priest or priestess must do to fulfill the marital obligations of a "Sacred Marriage." One of the primary ways in which the "Bride of Christ" serves the Lord is by administering the sacraments. These sacraments (in the Roman tradition) are, in the order they are generally received for the first time: Baptism, Confession, Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders and Extreme Unction. These sacraments are ritualized elements of social practice that are necessary not only for spiritual growth, but mirror physical needs and social graces as well. Imagine a world where no one bathed (Baptism), talked to each other (Confession), shared food (Communion), learned from others (Confirmation), had sex (Marriage), raised children (Holy Orders) or buried the dead (Extreme Unction), and you begin to get the picture.
In the discussion so far, I have belabored the "Bride of Christ" metaphor chiefly because I believe that it isn't a metaphor but defines a very real spiritual relationship. Can there be a spiritual relationship without a material one? Can there be sky above us with no earth below? The patriarchal religions tend to denigrate material considerations, in favor of spiritual transcendency. They exhort against the "sins of the flesh." They deny feminine divinity.
Imagine a different way of practicing priesthood, of fulfilling vows to a Lord or Lady by focusing priestly love not only on the sky, waiting for the Master's return, but also upon the earthly "mystical body" of the betrothed with the same love. Imagine a temple where you can get a bath or shower if you need one (with a priest or priestess to wash your feet or scrub your back). A temple where you can get counseling, mediation or a spanking if you are bad. A temple where you can get bread for your children, share a feast with friends or have a grape peeled for you. And last, but certainly not least, think of a temple where sex is sacred, where sex education means theoretical and experiential guidance for all ages. A temple where sexual healing is a sacred obligation of the priesthood.
To summarize, "Sacred Marriage" obligates the bride or groom of the Divine to service the mundane as well as the sublime needs of the Lord or Lady in accordance with the vows taken by the priesthood. If you wanna be a priest, you may need to do more than feed those sheep. Marriage is a conjugal relationship. You may need to fuck the sheep as well.
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