The Spring Mysteries Festival (SMF) is a dramatic recreation of the Eleusinian Mysteries that were carried out in Greece for several thousand years. With what recorded history there is of those ancient rites, and modern pagan intuition and thoughts, the ATC has sought to recreate the mysteries of Demeter and Persephone and make the drama a ritual that involves the participants as well as the actors.
In this way, we become high priest and priestess in what can be an elaborate, compelling and spiritually powerful ritual. Nonetheless, drawing down a god-form is neither a simple nor a brief process, nor is it without power.
Over the years, I have drawn down the goddesses Demeter (twice), Aphrodite and Persephone (a second time this year). With the amount of energy that we deal with, I would not have taken on a god-form the first few years (even the first five) that I had been practicing the Craft. I would not have taken on the experience for the first couple times I went to the SMF. I began first by being a ritual actor who was not a god (a daughter of Metaneira). By the time the opportunity to play a goddess presented itself, I was more than ready and had an idea what was in store for me. There were still some surprises left.
Through the years of SMF, the ritual cast has changed quite a bit. In recent years, we have found a core group of ritual actors; some members have gone on their way while others have remained in varying capacities. Each year, the ritual drama has changed in some way, too.
We have become a group that trusts each other's competence, and we work intimately together. In one way we have become a coven of sorts, open to new members who join us, and comfortable with where we are.
It is one thing to have a personal god/goddess to pray to or on which to meditate. It is one thing to dedicate to a god/goddess. It is yet another thing altogether to meditate on, dedicate to and be the vessel for a god/goddess. When I first took on ritual acting - I doubt I consciously threw myself into it completely. I do not know if I realized I was in fact dedicated for a year and a day (or a term very close to that) to that god. But I found out.
One can certainly just go to the rehearsals (which start three to four months ahead of the festival) and eventually "act" the god. But then is it ritual, and is it fair to ritual participants to not do responsible and meaningful ritual? A responsible priest/priestess does more. You start by reading up on the god/goddess, and their relationships, of ancient Eleusis and of other Greek myths. You meditate or work rituals around the symbols, elements or aspects of that god. You talk with them and commune.
For me, my dedication starts close to six months before the Mysteries. If I only started working with the god four months before then, I would find that there are reverberations through my life for a year from whenever I began. You can dedicate for longer, and this will happen if you do not set up a time-frame on your dedication. Some people dedicate for life to a particular god and then take on others for shorter terms along the way. If you are experienced, you can dedicate for a shorter time, as some people do who are working on another major ritual within the year and must draw down another god/archetype. However, often both energies can and will still influence you for a year, and it is advisable to pick gods who are at least similar if you must work with more than one.
Through the dedication as priestess for a year and a day, I found many aspects of my life were affected. My emotions were more motherly, caring and rigid with Demeter; more loving, sensuous and selfish with Aphrodite; more innocent, carefree and conflicting with Kore/Persephone. Gods, after all, embody both light and dark aspects.
With a year's dedication, one gets time to work with and temper the energies at work. You can keep much of a god's influence away or contained from your life but never all once you dedicate. The more you are willing to let the god/goddess into you, the more control you later have in what becomes a type of symbiosis with the god energy. If you are new to taking on god-forms and decide to just let the god-form run uncontrolled with your life, you may not have the knowledge or strength to control it or relish the upheavals that may come. Though we acknowledge the dark side, one does not want to let it go unchecked.
I saw one person new to ritual acting give free rein to the god/archetype in his everyday life. By the time the festival approached, the priest could barely do his job, being racked with emotional turmoil and physical pain. He did not realize the strength of the power he was dealing with, and only after another priest and I performed a grounding and energizing ritual was he able to carry on with his role. I am sure he felt repercussions for some months to come.
When I am dedicated, I often have strong spiritual dreams that I have no trouble remembering, which are filled with symbols and messages. They help me work through the aspects I am taking on emotionally and spiritually. They make the energy manageable. Still, I will have strange waking epiphanies and often wonder why I did such and such to realize later that it is an aspect of the particular goddess to whom I am dedicated. I really do not like pastels or floral prints, but I found as Aphrodite and again as Kore that I am attracted to some of the yuckiest pastels with cute little flowers.
By the time the actual festival arrives, I have already been sleeping with the goddess for a while. I can invoke her into me with relative ease. I have an idea how she might react to a given situation. It is then that I do more than act, because I have become the goddess.
Last year when I was dedicated to the goddess Aphrodite, I realized how strong she was and how she resonated to certain aspects of my life. In fact, I realize I had always, unknowingly, been dedicated to her. At SMF, while invoked and drawn down fully, I wore little more than a couple of veils while being in cold rooms with icy spring gusts blowing through them. By the evening, I was standing in a cement chamber, yet I did not notice the cold at all. What I was not completely prepared for was the strong sexual sensations from the sound of chanting and drumming; Aphrodite got off on them. When the rites were completed and it was time to devoke, Aphrodite did not wish to until morning. I agreed with her and though I knew I was not overpowered by the god-form, the priestess doing the devocation would not allow it. With great difficulty, Aphrodite and I allowed the devocation to happen. Although, as an experienced priestess and pagan, I could have re-invoked myself, I did not have the energy afterwards. The next day, due to various circumstances, there were several of us who naturally reinvoked when we sealed and grounded the ritual chambers.
It can be frightening when a greater force takes over against your will or will not leave when you want it. I have seen it happen to enough people over the years for various reasons. In some cases and some religions, this would be called possession. In others, it would be speaking in tongues, having divine visions or, plain and simply, becoming a vessel for the gods. Even with proper preparation, these energies can send us for a loop. For this reason, it is best to know the god-form as well as possible before a complete ritual invocation. Then you are more prepared for the surprises.
As I said earlier, Aphrodite was such a strong goddess that I was worried about being able to shed her energies in time to invoke Kore/Persephone for this year's SMF. I knew quite early on that I was going to do this role and was able to use the Samhain festival, Hecate's Sickle, to let go of Aphrodite. It worked better than I could have imagined and in ways that were so synchronous that I was left in tears. I have been working with the Kore/Persephone energy since Samhain, and it gets stronger and stronger. Each person's journey with their god/goddess is personal and different. For me, each time is different, too. Although it's the second time for me as Kore/Persephone, I find I cannot draw on my past experiences. Every time I try to remember, I come up with vague images if anything at all. I realize that because it is the nature of the Kore to be naive and innocent at first; it is then not for her to know what has gone before. I have become a bit shy where I have not been before. Yet I can prepare for Persephone as I rehearse the lines, because it is the dual nature of this goddess, and because I am in balance with these energies.
When I first began ritual acting, I said to a friend (after the second year), that's it, no more, it's too exhausting. (We drove down from Canada every Sunday for three months - five-six hours of driving!) The next year I said, oh, okay I want to be in it but give me a minor part. Due to circumstances and the need of the directors, I ended up being Demeter. I think I became addicted to ritual acting, but at the same time I have come to realize that I do not have to hog the limelight.
Unlike "acting," we are manifesting energy of the higher realms. We are only vessels, and therefore there is no need to always be in center stage. This is not for me, it's for everyone, and the best ritual is the one that affects the most people. For the past few years, I have told the directors to use me as they see fit. I can help in some way whether I am on the stage or not. I already know the touch of the goddess, and I am happy to let others have that experience.
Being a ritual actor is not easy or first-degree work, but it is very rewarding. I have learned a great deal about the forces that have come down into me, and through them more about my life and my self. There is a spiritual ecstasy that is unique unto itself. I have grown into truly being a high priestess. I teach through being and through doing the best ritual I can. As importantly, to do a fully invoked ritual drama is something that brings the ritual participants into the ritual itself and lets everyone see and feel what is between the worlds. Sharing that love and communion makes sleeping with the goddess all the more worthwhile.
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