I was extremely zealous in those days about my spirituality and viewed my sexual impulses as any good Christian might, struggling to suppress my carnal desires (and failing miserably). T. changed all that for me one night when she (literally) let her hair down while we were driving through San Francisco. I can still see the image of her shaking free her long red hair as she sat across from me in the van, a secret smile upon her full lips, as it cascaded down upon her black habit and fell around her crucifix.
What followed from that night was a real spiritual re-birth for me. In time, she gave herself to me, drawing me out of myself slowly, freeing me from the bonds and blocks of repressed desire and sexuality. We made love by day and night whenever opportunity presented itself, in the print shop by candlelight, even before the altar in the chapel. I never felt a moment's guilt.
For her part, she demanded no price, except the realization from me that she could never be possessed, that she could never marry me, something she made clear from the very beginning. Of course, I refused to believe it, and remember vividly my jealous moments when I saw her with other men. In those days I had a really poor understanding (actually none at all) of the role she was playing for me and others, both men and women. She was truly a Sacred Whore, an instrument of the divine feminine, a healing and transforming force in my life and the lives of numerous others. She changed me to the extent that I lost the dark, somber attitude which clung about me, becoming much more radiant as the energy began to flow more freely through me.
In symbolic recognition of what had happened to me, I even decided to have myself circumcised (at age 26). I wanted the crown of creation which she had exposed to remain free, never again retreating to be buried somewhere in the dark recesses of the flesh. I hoped that ritual circumcision would prevent me from reverting to the sorry state of my past condition.
My superiors recognized the magnitude of the change which had occurred in me, although they did not know its cause. About three months after T. succeeded in seducing me (she once confided that she had been trying to get my attention for a year), I appeared before the ruling council of our Order to once again petition for acceptance into the priesthood. Finally, what had eluded me for years was given to me. It was generally recognized by all present that I was a different man, more positive and dynamic, and they accepted me for the priesthood and assigned me to a teacher for my final training. I knew that I was called to be a priest, and that I owed the fulfillment of that calling to the transformation and psychic healing that I received from T. She was a Sheila, a gate that led me to a higher spiritual realm.
In the words of another: "Healing is a process that is uniquely different for each man or woman who begins it, in whatever culture and time. For healing is also deeply personal. It is more a gradually ascending circular process, like a spiral gradually moving upwards, than a linear process like climbing a mountain slope. There are levels and stages of healing, and each person may have different needs at these levels and stages.
"The healing process is a natural part of all of our lives. It occurs as a recovery process from behaviors, beliefs, values, attitudes and/or events that have been hurtful or dissatisfying to self and others. The process happens in many realms: the body (physical), the mind (psychological), the soul (spiritual), the heart (emotional), and the environment (ecological). Since our sexuality encompasses all of who we are as human beings, the healing process may also occur in the realm of our sexuality.
"Healing occurs in respectful and authentic connections with other human beings. Healing requires intimacy. Intimacy develops as connections between people, based on trust, communication, and shared experiences. This development requires a time, a space, a tempo and rhythm unique to each individual. So healing occurs in relationships, and healing is a life-long process."
(From: The Healing Circle of Stones, Susan Griffin and the Griffin & Wong Institute, http://www.realsolutions.org/hcosintro.htm).
In the Hindu realm of Kali and Kama Sutra, the knowledge and practice of spiritual disciplines involving sexual healing and the manipulation of the life force for regeneration and rebirth has persisted from distant times dating to the Bronze Age and the emergence of organized religion, even though such practices became submerged in the patriarchal and monotheistic Western traditions.
"Prana is a Sanskrit word literally meaning 'life-force' the invisible bio-energy or vital energy that keeps the body alive and maintains a state of good health. The Japanese call this subtle energy Ki, the Chinese Chi, while the Greeks refer to it as Pneuma. In Polynesian it is known as Mana, and in Hebrew, Ruah - meaning 'Breath of Life.' Pranic Healing is a form of energy healing which makes use of Prana, or vital energy, in the treatment of a wide variety of ailments. As an art and science, Pranic Healing was widely practiced in ancient civilizations in China, Egypt and India. In Pranic Healing, cure is effected by simply removing diseased energies from the patient's invisible energy body and by transferring fresh vital energy (Prana) to the affected areas with the use of the hands."
(Source: http://globe.com.ph/~unicorn/pheal.html #basic)
Pranic healing is one example of Eastern practices which recognize the effectiveness of physical contact in healing disease or discomfort by the manipulation of the energies of the electrical body. "Ayurveda" is another such path which dates to far antiquity.
In the words of Dr. Guervaz, "Ayurveda is 'The mother of all healing arts' on our planet, because it predates all healing systems and all forms of natural medicine. It was developed in India some 5,000 to 10,000 years ago. Knowledge of Ayurveda has been recorded in two of the vedic texts: the Atharva, and the Rig, which are more than 5,000 years old (about as old as the cylinder seal impressions from Ur shown in this article). It was many years later that other cultures studied Ayurveda and created their own healing systems, i.e. China, Tibet, Egypt, Africa, and other regions.
"Ayurveda specializes in holistic natural remedies and prevention, and focuses on rebuilding the cells and tissues to support longevity. Hence its tools for healing are herbs, yoga exercise, healthy diet and lifestyle, Vedic massages, meditation, use of mantras, steam therapy and sauna, aromatherapy, use of gems, colors, etc. The philosophy of Ayurveda is to help people heal themselves. A unique quality of Ayurveda is that healing is promoted by balancing the different energies in the body."
(Source: http://infinite.org/ayurveda/)
Although the healing practices in Ayurveda are far more diverse than physical manipulation of pranic energy, it is obvious that the recognition of the oneness of the energetic and physical vehicles is a strong feature of this ancient healing discipline. In conversation, two Eastern healers expressed it this way: "Healing isn't really healing, as such, it's more of a homeostasis: a balancing of the normal body. Homeostasis, ... is a term for 'self-referral' or bringing the self back to itself."
In that same conversation, Deepak Chopra, makes the following observation: "The word 'enchantment' comes from the root which means one with Divinity, so enchantment is the magic that happens when one connects with God...".
(Source: A Dialogue Between Swami Nostradamus Virato and Deepak Chopra, MD. http://www.newfrontier.com/1/chopra.htm).
I agree totally with both lines of thought. I became enchanted by T., and found my connection with God (these days I would say Goddess). The experience was enlightening, and truly divine. The healing I received brought me back into balance and greater self-awareness.
Perhaps my equation of sexual embrace and healing with the divine and spiritual leaves you with a sardonic grin on your face. If so, you have missed my message, and I will allow these words from an Eastern master of Tantric discipline, Swami Nostradamus Virato to illuminate you further. Tantric religious traditions, found in both Hinduism and Buddhism, worship divinities concerned with sexual and cosmic energy. Tantric yoga stresses a physiology in which a great vein runs from the lowest part of the spine where the serpent power or Kundalini, rests, to the highest and most psychic center, the mind, which is symbolized by the lotus. In Tantra, the greatest source of energy in the universe is sexual and ritualized intercourse - orgasm is a cosmic and divine experience.
"People sometimes think that spirituality is solemn, requiring an ascetic and denunciate lifestyle. While there may be such paths, I feel that unless we can release ourselves of the material world by fully experiencing it, we can never reach true spirituality. People may think they are spiritual, following yoga or some spiritual path, but unless one's essential self is released, one cannot begin to move into a divine state of consciousness. It has been said that we are not our bodies or our minds. I accept this. Our essential Self is the core of our being-ness - our connection to divinity...to universal oneness. This is called consciousness. Mystics call it spirit, soul or our 'original face.'
"Many of the techniques I use are similar to the methods used in leading forms of psychotherapy such as psychodrama, gestalt, encounter and catharsis. I use a lot of breath-work, bringing prana, or life-force energy into people's bodies. However, each event I conduct is different depending upon who's in the group. There is also plenty of time for fun and romantic exploration. The difference is that the romance takes place within the presence of openness. Towards the end of a weekend event people are willing to let go and experiment. Some of the methods I use can bring people to a state of ecstasy.
"When our mind doesn't control us, but simply witnesses our deep self - our original face, as the Buddhists call it - pure love is allowed to surface. When we permit the mind and body to serve us, instead of control us, then magic can happen. Sexual energy expands in us to every cell of our physical body, as well as our etheric body. I remember a weekend event I conducted in Moscow, where we could actually see energetic plasma or auras in the group room as participants moved into an orgasmic state. In fact, the orgasm is that time and space when and where we, and not our minds or bodies, let go to a universal force. What I do is simply allow this state to expand.
"All disease is a blockage of life energy in the body, whether we believe in the air germ theory, or whether we inherit a disease genetically. Hence the word 'dis-ease.' We have learned that acupressure, acupuncture, reflexology and other techniques can manipulate our body's energy field and change energy patterns to facilitate healing. Remember, everything is energy in form. When any energy is blocked, the form is also affected. This happens in the common cold or headache, as well as in cancer and AIDS. Wilhelm Reich, the noted physician, showed that a release of psychic energy relates directly to our physical form. In fact, Reich even showed that releasing orgasmic energy can cure cancer and other disease. Norman Cousins used laughter to cure himself of cancer, tantrikas do it with sexual energy. I remember a woman in one of my events that thought she would pass out from a severe headache that came up during the weekend. I let her release herself in orgasm, and the headache instantly disappeared. It's actually easy to understand. If more sick people allowed themselves to get sexually aroused, they'd have fewer problems. Suppressed sexual energy, in fact, creates disease.
"What I offer may not appear spiritual, yet again many so-called 'spiritual' paths are really not what they appear to be, as I have said before. That is why I do not support any religions as such. While all forms of true meditation, for example, bring us to a state of 'no mind,' it's like cleaning the furnace or fireplace. All and good, but unless we make the fire, there is no ignition of the kundalini energy. I have seen people who have practiced TM, or other forms of meditation or yoga for years who are no more evolved than people who have never had any exposure to spirituality. In Tantra we permit our deeper self to be released, so that we can indeed reach the place that all spiritual paths speak of, such as nirvana or mooksha.
"If spirituality is the achievement of a state of union with divinity, we must let go and allow ourselves to get there. Most of the ways that are called religious or spiritual describe the state of enlightenment, heaven, etc., and then worship the icon or persona that shows the way such as Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, etc., rather than becoming the icon itself. All the Masters have said we must become like them. It's the old story of God being 'out there,' separate from us, rather than in us. In the way of Tantra, we 'experience' spirituality directly. Most people however are so blocked or armored that they will actually reinforce their prisons by hiding out in religion, or condemning processes that can release them from bondage. They do not wish to relinquish control, even though that same control keeps them imprisoned within themselves. It's the old story of God being 'out there,' separate from us rather than in us."
(Source: Sex & Spirit, Conversation with Swami Nostradamus Virato on His Work in Tantra, By Barbara Williams http://www.newfrontier.com/1/sexspit.htm)
And so, I urge each and every one of you who reads this article, woman or man, whore or gigolo, to make the experience of sex one of divine healing, enhancing self-awareness and curing dis-ease through the restoration of the balance of energies which has been so drastically disrupted through the influence of Western spiritual dogma. Do for each other what T. did for me, heal your partner and fulfill yourself. (Curiously, T. finished her education and is now an MD., though I am certain she continues to practice sexual healing as well, since to do otherwise would be a renunciation of her life-long path.)
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