With this in mind, we wrote this meditation to help you get more in touch with positive father-god energy. While each of our particular fathers stand as our first embodiment of a father god, our fathers' embodiment wasn't necessarily the most benevolent or complete one. This meditation first releases father-god energy from your personal father, then introduces a more direct relationship with a positive paternal divinity.
The meditation includes a section forgiving your personal father. The point of doing so isn't for his sake, but for your own. Forgiving him helps you let go of any energy that might be trapped between you, so you can have access to that energy and use it in your own life.
Forgiving your father might not come easy for you. Many of us have a lot of legitimate rage and sorrow directed toward our fathers. Nonetheless, it still might be worthwhile to try this practice.
If you want to try forgiveness, but don't feel you can fully forgive your father now, fine. Only forgive as much as you can, and don't beat yourself up for not being able to forgive more. If you want to, you can repeat the meditation and forgive a little more each time. If you don't want to forgive your father at all, that's your decision, but forgiveness is an integral part of this meditation.
Also, don't embark on this meditation unless you feel ready for it. The father relationship is often dicey, and you might fall into depths of pain you didn't know were there. If you do find yourself overwhelmed, simply open your eyes and return from trance.
To use this meditation, either record it and play it back, or have someone read it to you. While reading it, go slowly, pausing after each phrase or sentence, and leave silences as indicated in italics in the text. While meditating, either lie on a bed or on the floor, or if you are prone to falling asleep sit in a straight chair.
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Begin by closing your eyes. Breathe deeply. Relax your belly, and breathe from it. Feel your body; wiggle your fingers and toes. Feel the places your body is sore or tired and relax those parts. Relax all over, as completely as possible. Continue to breathe deeply, to the count of ten. (If you are reading or taping the meditation, pause here for at least 30 seconds.)
Ground yourself. Send your grounding deep into the earth; connect with the heart of the Mother. Open yourself also to sky energy, and let the combined earth and sky energy come into you, cleansing your energy and releasing tension. Release any cares and troubles down your grounding into Mother Earth, where they will be neutralized. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
Create a circle of protection around yourself. Draw it above you and below you, so a protective sphere completely encloses you. Know you are perfectly safe within this sphere. (Pause for at least 10 seconds.)
Also, know that at any time if you feel uncomfortable, you can lighten your trance by getting in touch with your body, wiggling your fingers or concentrating on your breathing. You can also end the meditation at any time by simply opening your eyes.
Breathe deeply, and maintain your grounding.
You stand in a dark space, indoors. Your eyes begin to adjust, and you see your father as you remember him from long ago. He sits in the room you most associate with him from your childhood. If you have no childhood memories of your father, create the image of him and the room you want. (Pause for at least 10 seconds.)
As you stare at your father, he looks up. He greets you, and he asks you what you want. You tell him that you want to make peace with him.
He frowns slightly; he appears to think a moment. Then he agrees. He stands up and comes closer to you. (Pause for at least 10 seconds.)
As you stand facing your father, allow any negative feelings about him to rise up within you. Feel them as fully as you can without causing yourself harm. Let them rise, and peak. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
Then let go of the feelings; let them flow down your grounding into the earth. Say to yourself, "I let go of my negative feelings toward my father." Name each feeling as it goes, saying in each case, "I let this feeling go, into the earth." (Pause for at least 30 seconds.)
When you have let go of your negative feelings toward your father as fully as possible, reground yourself. Breathe deeply for ten breaths. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
Refocus on the image of your father. Look at the expression on his face. What is he feeling? Hold out your arms to him, and say to him, "I choose forgiveness. I choose love. I forgive you." Allow yourself to send mercy, love and forgiveness to your father. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
Now, say to yourself, "I choose love and forgiveness also for myself. I forgive myself for any negative feelings toward my father. I forgive myself." Accept mercy, love and forgiveness for yourself; feel the releasing, cleansing energy flow into you. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
Once again, concentrate fully on your father, trying to focus on all the tiny details of his image as he stands before you. You cannot lose him; you cannot change him. Know however that he is not the father-god, but only the personal father you have for this lifetime. See him small and particular, only a human being, like yourself. Let any extra energy he might hold for you drain off into Mother Earth. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
Now look past your father, to the wall behind. As you do, the image of your personal father disappears. He returns to the place he belongs.
Look through the wall to the world outside. Look across the world, across time and space to a grove of trees beside the sea.
You stand in that grove beside the sea. Feel the sea wind in your hair. Smell the salt in the breeze. Feel the sense of anticipation that fills this empty place. There is no one else here. There is no one else in this universe. You are alone.
Now from among the breaking waves comes the Mother, naked and full of power, larger than a mountain range. She enters the grove and stands at its center. She is taller than the trees, while you are smaller than their leaves.
From out of the forest comes the Father, naked and full of power. He comes to her and kneels. His penis is hard. You see that they shall mate, and you can't help feeling embarrassed, but their sex is not what you expect. The earth touches the sky, the air rises through flames, the sea caresses the shore. All is confusion, mixed together in the sexual act. You cannot recognize the gods or any features of the landscape anymore. Everything is burned away, washed away, blown away as dust. You are caught in the chaos, and you feel the world beginning. (Pause for at least 10 seconds.)
You see Mother Earth below you. All across the earth, seeds begin to sprout. Each one is you and not you. You feel the Father's breath on each seed. You feel the strength that protects, the feeding and the gift of water, the teaching and above all the love. (Pause for at least 10 seconds.)
Now you see before you again the Father God. He is large, perhaps twice your height, and strongly muscled. He sits on a huge boulder, left over from the Ice Age. Study him; what does he look like to you? (Pause for at least 10 seconds.)
You come forward toward him, and he holds out his arms. You sink into his embrace. From him into you come incredible waves of strong, protective fatherly love. The feeling is completely positive, deep and warming. He is a place of utter safety. He gives you endless amounts of love. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
You sit on the Father's knee. He holds you there, supporting your back with a large hand. "What do you want from me, my child?" he asks you. "What did your personal father never give you? What do you want from a father?"
Think for a moment, and ask Him for what you need. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
Now the Father answers you, either giving you a token of what you need or telling you how he will grant your wish. He might have an additional message for you. (Pause for at least 20 seconds.)
You thank him. (Pause for at least 10 seconds.) He smiles, and from his smile you feel incredible warmth. "One more thing," he says. "If you wish to worship me, call me by this name." (Pause for at least 10 seconds.)
Now say goodbye to the Father. (Pause for at least 10 seconds.) All around you the scene slowly goes dark.
Breathe deeply. You are beginning to awake from trance. Feel your body; hear around you the sounds of the room and the sounds from outside. Wiggle your fingers and toes, and move your arms and legs. When you are ready, open your eyes.
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After this meditation, you might want to make an offering to the father god you met. Find or make your offering, and with it in your hands meditate on the reason you want to offer it. Raise energy, and fill the offering full of the love and respect you have for your father god. When you have sent energy into your offering, state that you dedicate your offering to Him. Then either leave it on your altar or in another place you find symbolic of the Father's energy. Some ideas for offerings:
We'd like to thank NightOwl for ideas we have taken from her Yule 1995 Widdershins article, "Forgiveness: Overcoming the Hypnosis of Fear."
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