Now, I appreciate the confidence in my sexual powers, but I must chuckle. As skillful as I might be at lovemaking, it's troublesome at best for me to convince my coven to meditate, or my boyfriend to mow the lawn, much less to do whatever else I want independent of their will. Those who are acquainted with me and what I am up to know that I do indeed do sex magick, as often as possible - that is, I delight in and advocate the raising of energy through the use of sexuality, whether for myself or others.
I began investigating the connection between sex and magick in the early '70s. I was a very sexual young woman, just beginning to explore my own sexuality and my bisexuality. I had been in the Craft for a while, and I was in a polyrelationship, myself, my (now ex-) husband and my girlfriend Sharron from Australia all living together.
We thought we were very progressive and hip; Tantric sex being popular then, we were into it. We began to experiment with raising energy through sexual contact. Sometimes it would be her and I, and other times it would be all three of us. The thing that surprised me was that it worked so very well!
If we raised sexual energy for a specific goal, the result would manifest almost immediately! We weren't very experienced, and it scared us a bit, so we soon learned to be very careful about what we asked for.
An added bonus was that my husband learned to have multiple orgasms without ejaculation. He thought that was worth all the work we put into learning the techniques.
Since then, I have spent a great deal of time and energy researching sex magick and attempting to create an open environment of trust and love in which it may thrive. There are many techniques for sex magick. Interestingly, some of the people I have spoken with thought that sex magick was doing magick to attract or get more sex. But it's not, at least by my definition. What I mean when I say "sex magick" is raising energy through the use of sex or sexuality and focusing and utilizing the energy for a specific goal agreed to in advance. Also encompassed in the definition for me is the sacred marriage of the God and Goddess enacted ritually, as in the Great Rite (ritual sexual intercourse), either actual or symbolic. There are further definitions, but for our purposes, we will focus on these.
Sex magick may involve actually having sex, and maybe not. I recently did a class on the noncoital Great Rite, which does not have physical copulation as a part of it, but it can raise a vast amount of sexual energy. It is beneficial to know some of the techniques for noncoital sex magick, in case there ever comes a time when you are in a situation where the Great Rite is appropriate and your partner is not someone with whom you want to have actual sex. The following are techniques to build sexual energy:
Focused eye contact
Synchronized deep breathing
The "bliss" breath (described later)
Touch, stroking
Stalking one another
Circling around holding hands
Anointing one another with scented oils
Teasing, retreat
Dancing, pelvic thrusting
Flagellation
Simulated sex
Fantasy visualization
You can also perform the Great Rite or other sex magick purely symbolically, for example by inserting an athamé, a God symbol, into a cup, a Goddess symbol. Goddess or vaginal symbols include:
Chalices
Cauldrons
Cups
Shells
Wine
Water
Menstrual blood
Soil
Salt
The moon
Crystal balls
Lapis lazuli
Rose quartz
Circular or undulating motion
God or phallic symbols include:
Phallic-shaped figurines
Athamés
Knives
Swords
Spades
Wands or staves
Thyrsus
Candles
Needles
Trees
Bananas
Dildos
Cucumbers
Thrusting or linear motion
The fact that people have rather peculiar ideas about the whats, whys and wherefores of sex magick is not remarkable in itself. In our culture, sex is still a forbidden topic, even more so since AIDS. Sex is taboo, and discussing the subject in company is almost worse than actually doing it. Sallie Tisdale's remarkable book Talk Dirty To Me: An Intimate Philosophy of Sex addresses the subject of sex in our culture rather completely and is very entertaining as well. I highly recommend it!
Some people are going to have an adverse response when it comes to anything sensual or erotic. But much of the negative response I have received to sex magick seems to come from the fact that people think it has to do, somehow, with deception, manipulation or nonconsensual practices. It does not; sex magick is considerably less potent when both people are not knowingly focused and participating. You might use sex magick in that way, but I wouldn't recommend it, as it has almost instant karma. You better be ready for the results if you do, because I can tell you, it will kick your ass!
Sex magick is fairly well integrated into Eastern custom, with the Tao and Eastern thought maintaining that sex magick is a desirable practice. There seems to be much less shame, guilt and repression in the East, in some ways, and energy and energy work is a commonly accepted idea - think about Chinese acupuncture. The East has always been far ahead of us so-called "civilized" Christian countries. Then there is Tantric sex, an advanced form of spiritual communion and magickal practice that is accessible to the average person. There are numerous books, both text and erotic picture books, on the subject available; most households are not without their copies of Tantric erotica. The average person can at least experiment in this area without having to undergo years of training in the mysteries of spiritual sexual practices.
In Western society, however, sex magick is seen as something else entirely. With a full complement of repressive guilt and shame pervading our society, it's a wonder any of us ever get together at all. The Christian fundamentalist principles are difficult to break from, so ingrained are they in our cultural attitudes. It's not our fault; however, it is our right and responsibility as pagans to overcome this attitude as we might. We may revel in every opportunity to celebrate our bodies and our sexuality as worship of the old gods, Nature and the Earth.
Thou art God, thou art Goddess! How many of us remember this in our day-to-day relationships? How many of us invoke these energies prior to coming together to celebrate our sexual selves? How often do we give the gods an opportunity to experience pleasure embodied, to make love, to do what they are meant to do? Sex is a part of life; it is an important part of the cycle for us as humans and for the planet as a whole. We can hearken to an older time when the people did as the animals do at this time of year and went into the fields, woods or by the streams and lay themselves down in the soft grass and heard the call of the primal God and Goddess to couple, to make love, to experience pleasure, to create new life or to simulate the new life being created all around them.
Nan Hawthorne (interviewed in the first issue of Widdershins) writes in Loving the Goddess Within, "Beltane may be the most obviously sexual of all the Witch's Sabbats. Phallic symbolism is strong, with the traditional Maypole representing the Lover aspect of the God in his purest role as Lord Priapus, the personified erection. Because the Goddess is already pregnant, their lovemaking is entirely devoted to pleasuring themselves, and Beltane's festivities are intense and wildly passionate. Bonfires represent the intense sexuality of Beltane, the purpose of the passion is to imbue the Earth and the growing crops with all the energy of fertility possible."
There are a number of books on the subject of sex magick, including two written by local women, Ecstatic Ritual, by Brandy Williams, and Loving the Goddess Within; by Nan Hawthorne. There is also Sex Magick by Louis T Culling, in which he writes; "The whole (congress) is as an enchanted spiritual feeling. Let one imagine, realistically, that the Divine presence communicates, 'I am above you and in you. I am here and now with you. My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy. I love you: I love you. Come unto me. To me. Thou art verily with me.'"
The old mystery traditions such as the Masons and the Knights Templar extolled the mysteries of the union; they speak in vague terms about the great mystery of life and compare it to partaking in holy communion in the Christian tradition: "The Rite of Transubstantiation is naturally the summation of (the sexual) ritual. In the Christian church the consecrated wine and wafer are declared to be the body and blood of Jesus Christ. The only difference in the herein described magickal rite is that there is an actual vital spiritualized substance that is consecrated. This is a sufficient hint to the wise: to the troglodytes, the whole subject of magick must remain as an ignorance which even results in their anathema," Culling writes.
There are some forms of Western sex magick, such as the one described by Culling in his book, that are somewhat sexist and insulting to the modern student. He uses words such as "zelator" and "divine Daemon" and "Holy Guardian Angel"... what do these mean? Culling says, "The central aim of all Magick should be to attain Knowledge and Conversation with one's Daemon, and prosper chance, finally actual union. This is the true definition of initiation - to discover one's true identity and thereby fulfill the purpose of one's existence on this planet."
Is the flowery language just a ruse to discourage all but the truly passionate? Just as Crowley baited the uninitiated with bits of nonsense to send them off the trail, is Culling presenting the practices of sex magick as more difficult than they need be? I think so. He also states that the woman should be the receptacle for the male, submissive to him. Hmmmm? What century is he living in?
In my opinion, sex magick can be used by anyone with the ability to concentrate and visualize and focus energy on a goal. You must be able to hold the thought, while having sex; that's the hard part. But I think the obscure language and complicated practices are for those who need that, and I do not. I think a lot of people are like me in this.
Why would one want to do sex magick? I make use of sex magick because it is an easy, very powerful, extremely effective and gratifying way to raise magickal energy with my partner. Much better than dancing or chanting, wouldn't you say?
Sex magick is especially suitable for Beltaine rituals, indoors or out, whether you honor the gods or do a working for the Earth's healing or for greater union and harmony with your partner. My coven for the past several years on Beltaine has created a shrine to Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and sex, where people worship in a sexual environment, and will again this year. The shrine is used by the May Queen and King to welcome in the spring and to reenact the union of the God and Goddess that takes place at this time of year. People have enjoyed reveling in the energy, whether participating in the activities or not. Some powerful magick has been done there, and we always have great results from it.
How far do you go? There are differing opinions on whether or not to climax during sex magick. I am of the opinion that if you can send the energy as you climax, it is a great push. Brandy Williams says in Ecstatic Ritual: "Climax releases the blood built up in the genitals during sexual excitement, and tends to release the energy built up in a working as well. Postponing climax and experiencing more than one climax help us retain and add to the energy we are generating." It's not important that you and your partner (if any) have a climax simultaneously, or at all. The idea is to build the power to the highest degree and then send it out. It's also less important that you employ actual physical fucking than that you raise sexual energy. If you are actually fucking, however, do practice safe sex, and take special care to prevent pregnancy if that's one of your concerns. When the God and Goddess manifest, they generally want to procreate.
Whether or not you actually having sex, you can raise incredible energy by doing the "bliss" breath, synchronized breathing that includes sipping in air through the mouth, then a sharp vocal exhalation by mouth. This technique can be extremely powerful, especially done outdoors, if you can find a private spot.
It is desirable, in my opinion, to have both the God and Goddess represented energetically in sex magick. This doesn't mean you must have a heterosexual pairing, but one partner, if you are working with a partner, should portray each deity.
If you are alone, you may use fantasy and visualization to invoke the energies. Yes, you can raise sexual energy by yourself, through masturbation; in fact, there are many opportunities to use sex magick when the necessity of a partner is removed. Nan Hawthorne writes in Loving the Goddess Within, "The essence of the matter is that you should always feel free to make love to the Goddess. If the Goddess is simply yourself, so be it." I think this applies to the God as well!
The very first thing that you should always do when you attempt to do magick is to ground and center! This is very significant, for if your magick is not grounded on the mundane, physical plane, it will float around out in the astral. Then what good is it to you? It's like a wish; it's always there but you can never attain it. You should find a method of grounding that works well for you and remember to always stay grounded throughout the process. Also, making a heart conection is important in sex magick with a partner; even if the rite in noncoital, and especially if you're not ordinarily partners, you and your partner need to be in a loving space.
If you are doing a noncoital Great Rite, you might: gaze into your partner's eyes; breath deeply and rhythmically; use synchronized pelvic thrusting to raise the Kundalini or sexual energy from the first chakra; make sure and curl your tongue up against the roof of your mouth, back toward your throat, to make a pathway for the energy; simultaneously bring the energy up and merge it with that of your partner; then merge the two creative forces of energy into one akin to the great marriage of the Goddess and the God; send the energy out to achieve the greatest potential for creation and for your magick to succeed.
As far as an actual sex magick ritual that I might do for magickal purposes (rather than for worship), it might look like this:
My partner and I discuss what we want to do with the energy; we voice any specific things we want to focus on and when during the rite we want to send the energy to its destination. Once we decide what, we go away from one another, bathe, make ourselves clean, sweet smelling and attractive. When we come together, we create magickal space, which includes our bed, by casting a circle in our traditional way, a circle we might either let down when we send the energy or some time after the rite. We light candles, burn a special sex incense and play soft sexy music. We ground and center and relax our bodies and minds. Once this is accomplished, we look into one another's eyes, looking for the higher being who is there behind the mundane facade. I search for the priest in him, and he for the priestess in me. We continue to face one another, holding hands and gazing deeply into one another's eyes as we begin to breathe deeply and rhythmically.
We stroke one another, kiss softly and linger. We might sway to the music that begins within us and begin to embrace. He says the words that invoke the Goddess into me, and as he calls Her, I feel the energy, and it overtakes me for a moment. I invoke the God into him, and as I say the words, before the final words leave my lips, he is upon me.
He is breathing heavily, panting really. He is caressing me, and I feel him insistent against me. I recollect my goal and remember not to get left behind in this wild dance. My lover is like an animal, he is all over me, he is making sounds as if he is a wild thing, and he is.
I am holding back, I do not open to him yet, I am building the energy. I kiss him, and he kisses me back hard and deep, and he pushes me down forcibly. I push back a bit, and he retreats a bit, and then I kiss him again and stroke him and scratch at his back. I allow him to get closer to me, I spread my legs slightly, and he dives for me, into me.... we are the Goddess and the God, making love with wild abandon. And still the power builds.
We come close to a climax then ease back, building, building, letting the energy surge upward, growing ever larger and stronger. When I finally sense that the time is right, I send the force shooting from me, I have a series of orgasms that rock the consciousness from me; then I am aware again of my goal and I see the result coming back to me in waves, as if from the shock of the energy I sent out of us. My mate is breathing slower now and coming back to the here and now. He kisses me tenderly and says, "Thou art Goddess." I reply, "Thou art God." We blow out the candles and close eyes as we embrace in slumber.
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