A few weeks ago, I walked into a local pagan book store seeking a peaceful place to hang out while I paused, waiting for an important interview. I was seeking somewhere to calm myself as I waited.
While I browsed the shelves of this store, which though well-stocked was quite small, I could not help hearing the owner and a customer speaking. The customer was first talking about her search for a decent teacher and how she could not find one. I found this interesting and even a bit sad, and was considering asking if she would like to meet my high priestess, to offer help finding a connection. But as she went on, I heard her begin to criticize a number of people in the community.
As she continued, I became more and more aghast. I could not get out of hearing range of the conversation, and I finally turned to her and said, "Well gee, since you are so critical, I don't think I want to tell you which coven I belong to." At that, she said to me, "As long as it is any coven except one or two, that's okay, I don't mind." I said, "Well, my guess is that it is one of the two, so we best not go further with this exchange." She then went on to tell me everything that she thought was wrong with my coven _ I'm sure from the look on my face she guessed I belonged to the coven she was talking about. I looked at her in shock. Who was this woman criticizing my high priestess and coven to me?
I was so offended at her outright lack of respect and total disregard for my feelings that all I could say was, "It is always very easy to criticize people you know absolutely nothing about!" And then I left the store.
I have been appalled at the tremendous amount of gossip in the pagan community. When I saw the recent editorials and letters in The Northwest Magickal Times spewing rubbish about who said what and who did what, I was horrified. It made me wonder why anyone would be attracted to a community where such attacks and gossip are openly condoned. Then, when I attended the April 1 community meeting, I was flabbergasted to hear an elder of the community openly attacked! And by a "high priestess," no less. Is not the Wiccan rede, "Do as thou will an harm ye none?" Isn't an open attack a deliberate attempt to harm another person? How did this high priestess get so far away from spirituality?
Being fairly new to the magickal community, I can't help wondering how people get so far off track. Witnessing the gossip and personal attacks, I stop and rethink my reasons for being a witch.
I came into the Craft seeking a place to learn about my own spirituality, to learn magick and to find a group with common beliefs that I could worship with. I did not come to the Craft seeking a "community"; I came seeking myself. I was fortunate to find a teacher, friends and a "family" to circle with. As I hear people gossiping in the local pagan book stores, the only thing I feel I can do is to show that I will not participate in that behavior and suggest to the gossipers that they get back on track. If you must gossip, gossip about something positive, maybe a new spell or ritual you have tried, and stop focusing the energy on negative, destructive behavior.
If we hope to make the Craft more accessible, and acceptable in mainstream society, we need to take a serious look at ourselves. To be in a public place, making loud derogatory comments about the Craft or a particular priestess, could deter a possible student from seeking this path. It not only is a total waste of energy, but it drives good people away that could become valuable contributors. It also feeds the Christian agenda of divisive energy; if we are all busy fighting one another, we hardly have energy left to defend ourselves from the right- wingers.
As you hear others talking about people you know or do not know, ask them why they are into witchcraft _ for the gossip or for the Craft. Perhaps this will help us all to remember and stay on track.
Blessed Be,
Sincerely,
Selena
Dear Selena,
Thank you for your very nice letter. Because it echoed my own opinions on this subject, I'm going to take this opportunity to reply at some length.
I myself have these same thoughts about those who continually criticize and condemn others. My speculation is that maybe they are attempting to adjust the focus onto someone else, so that their own actions will not be examined too painstakingly. It may also be a factor that after one is in the Craft for a time, it may to lose its "gleam," so to speak. It is less thrilling, more like work; people get bored and need to find something exhilarating to do... which leads to stirring up shit! Popular tactics, but we would love to think that pagans are superior to that. NOT! We are only people; we all have imperfections and shortcomings, even though some of us prefer to think that we are perfect.
Gossip is similar to magick, in that you raise energy by talking about something, putting emotion into it and getting yourself (and others) all whipped up into a raving frenzy. The consequences may be devastating in the event of malicious gossip. I have seen divorces, lawsuits, lost jobs and children removed from their families as a result of erroneous information being passed to the wrong person.
History has established that this is the cycle of things; it will transpire again and again. Do bear in mind, it could be you who bears the brunt of the malevolent gossip tomorrow. So strive to follow the laws of the Craft when gossip is shared. "An it harm none, say what you will!"
Blessed be all!
Sylvana
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