The experience of coming into the pagan community can be quite daunting for some. With the "do as thou wilt" a la carte attitude and pagan bookstores looking more like 12-step recovery shops or feminist reading rooms, it can be difficult for the uninitiated/ novice/wanna-be to choose which tradition to embrace. I truly hope to encourage newcomers to the Craft as they seek to find the "light at the end of the tunnel."
My Own Experience
When I started exploring paganism about two years ago, it was in response to my disillusionment with that sacrifice cult, Christianity. At the outset, though, I didn't want to approach a witch; I was far too afraid. Actually, I did what I always do when I need information: I went to the library. Sadly, the occult reading list is crowded with UFOs, Uri Geller, or simply not available due to theft. I also knew that reading would not be enough. There is a distinct difference between theory and practice of any discipline. (If you don't believe me, go read a book about sailing, then try to do it... don't forget your lifejacket.)
My next option was to consult the computerized bulletin boards (BBSs), which I found to be a mixture of gold and garbage. I made acquaintances with covens and solitaries, crackpots and generic weirdoes. One user did provide me with some wonderful references (in particular, the book Earth God Rising by Alan Richardson), and the Aquarian Tabernacle Church (ATC, a legally recognized Pagan church) in Index, WA. The young lady I speak of was of the "little bit o' this, little bit o' that" category and appealed to me not at all. I have since refined my opinion, but more on that later. Lastly, the BBS provided me a working understanding of the lingo that goes with the Craft.
At this point, readers may want an explanation of what it was that I was looking for. Even now, it's hard to explain because it was more of a feeling than an actual articulated thought. I was after some kind of common structure, a framework, a catechism of a sort (pardon the expression). Soon I was to find that there is little of such that can be applied to the broad category of "paganism." To really find order of any kind, you need to look into the specific traditions themselves.
Anyway, the BBS gave me the courage to take the next logical step. I donned my mirrored sunglasses and grew a mustache for my first trip to the local pagan bookstore I'd heard about on the radio. (No kidding, I had these visions of FBI and CIA agents staking out the place for "Satanists" who prowled for sacrifices.) I can admit that I was pleasantly surprised, for, at the time, it was a shop with a great deal of character and friendliness.
Unfortunately, (you most likely will have much "unfortunately" in your own experience), I was completely overwhelmed by the number of publications they had. In addition, the clerk was little more than just a body to take up space. He gave me a blank look when I tried to explain that I needed some help on where to start. I was less than impressed when he offered the advice: "It doesn't matter where you start."
During this time, I had been developing friendships with younger pagans in the community that found me over the BBSs. One fellow in the Navy gave me a copy of Raymond Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft. One shop owner held weekly gatherings to discuss day-to-day issues and to eat pizza. It was good fun, but I progressed little, if at all.
Then I hit pay dirt. I called a few phone numbers of some pagan groups, and after a few frosty responses met with a coven that is about as warm, fun and accepting as I could expect. This coven is led by a high priestess that pulls no punches when it comes to celebrating Sabbats and Esbats, working hard and playing hard.
That's my own story _ a far cry from the trauma and drama that many will go through as they struggle against family and culture. Yes, it was a fun-filled search that brought new, exciting people into my life and taught me much about paganism and a little about attitudes at large.
It is true that those inquiring into paganism should remember that there is no set way of doing things. Neo-paganism is truly an opportunity for someone to express their creativity and individuality in designing his or her own form of ritual worship. Why? All the old worship was effectively "assimilated" by the Borg-like juggernaut of Catholic Christianity as it produced bastardized versions of old heathen rituals. This is not my opinion; this is historical fact. We, the neo-pagans, the new pagans, are virtually reinventing the old religion based on archeological evidence and intuition, the poetry of the soul.
So, to those new to the Craft _ greetings! An exhilarating experience is awaiting you. To those that have been associated with paganism for some time, I bow with the respect due to you. May we all strive to live together and draw close to one another in perfect love and perfect trust.
This column will accept questions, comments and quotes on the subject matter; please mail submissions to the address listed in Widdershins' editorial box, marked attention "Lethe."
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