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by Roman Delgado
As the day turns into night and the shadows of twilight dance upon the earth, winter comes and our hearts and minds turn to the mysteries of existence. It was said by my ancestors that after the fifth Sun was created, the god of wisdom, light, agriculture, music and the arts, Quetzalcoatl, journeyed into the darkness of the underworld to retrieve the bones of humans from past creations in order to craft the human race anew. Stories like this are found all over the world and as the seasons change, the dance of light and shadow -- forces shaping our world -- are presented to man and woman who go deep within themselves, deep into the mysteries of creation and initiation, to find power and healing.
There are good reasons why traditions all over the world take times of change such as the coming of winter to initiate people into the mysteries of life and death. Many cultures speak of archetypes the cosmic forces call gods and goddesses facing the darker aspects of nature -- including death, darkness and some warrior aspects (the battle between the Oak King and the Holly King comes to mind) -- and allow the realm of nature, and therefore man, to take the plunge into winter and the mysteries of life and death.
My own traditions and those of my ancestors, an Aztec tribe called the Mexica, are no exception. To illustrate this, I recount the tale of an encounter between the two aspects of Venus -- Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca. Quetzalcoatl as Venus rising in the morning, seemingly pushing up the Sun, encounters his rival and brother Tezcatlipoca, who represents Venus at sunset, seemingly pushing down the Sun and bringing darkness and night (the time sacred to Tezcatlipoca).
Tezcatlipoca attempts to befriend his brother for the night and succeeds. Together they go on a drinking spree. Quetzalcoatl, in his drunken state, encounters a beautiful maiden with whom he spends the night making love. As the morning comes, he awakes and realizes the beautiful woman with whom he spent the night is his sister. In shame of his actions, Quetzalcoatl banishes himself in the west, away from the land of the Mexicas, leaving his brother Tezcatlipoca, the god of the night, magick and trickery, as the chief god in the Mexica pantheon.
This story has several elements that explain how in this time of change the "gods" allow the night to overtake the day (Quetzalcoatl banishing himself and passing the torch to his brother) and the planting season to end. The coming of winter is a time when, in my culture and countless others, forces outside our control (nature) allow us to introspect about the darker side of nature and I think more importantly, ourselves. As many sages would say, there is no life without death and no light without darkness and it is this play of light and shadows that give birth to life itself (the interactions between the God and Goddess, the turning of the seasons, etc.).
In many pagan traditions, both old and new, the forces I speak of are represented by the archetypes of gods and goddesses; it is their interaction that makes the wonders of the world possible. As great as these forces are, they are also a reflection of the forces working with the micro cosmos that is every aspect of life. I believe nothing in life can happen without being in harmony with what I call the sacred dance (between light and shadow). It is through this balance that we learn our deepest lessons in any path.
If we allow ourselves to express this dance within ourselves and in our lives, the mysteries of gods and goddesses can open before our eyes; for as the as the Charge of the Goddess says: "If what you seek without yourself, you cannot find within, you will never find without for I have been with you from the beginning and I am that which is attained at the end of desire." To some, these words may be strange or even alien to your life; however the principle is simple: The forces of the divine are locked in an eternal dance that is not only expressed in the creation of the Cosmos but within every tiny aspect of the individual and all of his or her relationships and acts that are true to their nature.
Yes, horrible things do happen, but these things are out of balance and do not reflect the divine dance. So as a shaman my role is, much like Quetzalcoatl, to plunge into the darkness (or the brilliant light for that matter) that permeates the issue and bring it back to balance with the dance. This can be done for many reasons, including beautiful healing or creation of a new endeavor in life. The possibilities are endless. Allowing your self to be in balance with the flow of this dance is not easy do. It takes a great deal of getting used to, for what is best for oneself and the dance is not always what the ego wants. However, if you allow yourself to face the night and live to see the light of day, you will begin to understand your self and your fellow beings better. You will see that light begets darkness and darkness begets light in loving balance forever, and from this understanding and exaltation of this dance comes the true power of the shaman.
Do not be confused. As many already know, darkness and evil are not the same. For evil only comes to be when the ego of man disrupts the balance of the sacred dance. So I invite you now, my friend, to take a good look at what lurks in the night of your soul and mind and allow it to see the light and embrace it in a dance that will heal both. As beautiful as the light may be, we cannot alienate the darkness without disrupting the sacred dance.
Call your self a shaman, pagan, Wiccan, Druid, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, what ever you choose; for the only thing that truly changes is what you call the dance and the forces in it. Own your power and heal your life and your world, and when you are in ecstasy in union with the divine, look into the eyes of he/she who is dancing with you experience what it is like to be whole and in union with the divine.
Facing what lurks in the darkness can be a very frightful prospect to some. All of us have parts of our selves tucked in the back of our minds and souls that we fear or do not enjoy. This is what healing practices call the shadow self. Be it the part of us that is the warrior, willing to fight for our own needs when called for or the part of us that is soft, healing and nurturing.
In my shamanic training, I was taught to dance to the rhythm of drums and allow all of my being to express it self in dance, including those parts I was unaware of and those parts I spoke of. This is what my grandparents dubbed shadow dancing. For every human being, they said, is an expression of the universe within themselves and doing this dance is a microcosmic expression of the greater dance.
But why should we bother to pay attention to the shadow self? The shadow self, when alienated, often lashes out and causes havoc in our lives. We begin to subconsciously indulge it in ways that may not be healthy. My own example is a time when I was alienating the part of me geared towards healing. I kept on unknowingly causing myself to get into relationships with people who had the same emotional and physical issues as me and trying to solve them in the other person rather than myself. So I faced my shadow and once again embraced it in the dance; a dance that continues to heal me in many ways.
You do not have to dance in wild ecstasy to the beat of a drum to experience your shadow self. For that purpose, here is a small meditation to aid you. You can adapt this to suit your needs, tape yourself reading your version into a tape recorder, and listen to it whenever you wish to. (Please do not meditate while driving or operating heavy machinery; it is too dangerous!)
Begin by asking your guides, gods or goddesses to be with you to support, protect and help heal you during this meditation. Sit down with your back straight and take a few deep breaths to get relaxed. Begin by breathing in for a count of four. Hold it for a count of four and breathe out for a count of four. Do this at least three our four times and intend to unconsciously continue to do it throughout the meditation.
If sitting down in a chair, uncross your arms and legs and plant your feet firmly on the floor. As you breathe out imagine roots growing out of your root chakra (the base of your spine). Let the roots grow deeper and deeper with each out breath, until you reach the center of the earth. Once the roots reach the molten center of the earth, visualize as you breathe in warm earth energy going up the roots and moving throughout your body and aura. As you breathe out visualize any negativity going out the roots and back into the earth to be recycled, in and out with breath creating a cleansing cycle. After a few minutes of this, most of the negativity you may be holding will dissipate, leaving a cycle of earth energy going through your system. It is important to have this type of "backup" during a meditation so you do not feel too drained afterwards.
When you are ready, imagine yourself being in a beautiful cabin in the middle of a vast forest. It is a beautiful sunny winter morning outside. A fire is burning in the fireplace and the most beautiful decorations adorn the cabin. Take a good look around; the cabin itself is a reflection of you at that particular time. Take some time to enjoy the warm comfort of your cabin. You hear a soft knock on the door. You approach the door and open it. There stands a beautiful being of light. Take a good look at this being light and love. Is it a male or female? What are his or her facial features? You know this being to be your highest spiritual guide, there to protect you and aid you in this meditation.
If you are ready and willing to go on, allow it to come into your cabin with the knowledge that it has only your best interests in heart and mind. Take some time to speak with your guide about what you are about to experience and ask any questions you may have. Listen carefully to his/her message. Once you are finished, allow your guide to take a place beside you.
You notice as you look out the window that the Sun has set and there is a beautiful Full Moon in the starry sky. You turn your attention to the door and hear a knock at the door. You recognize the sound. It is an old friend waiting to be reacquainted. As you open the door you see your shadow. It may not look the way you expected. Its appearance could be symbolic of its nature. Take a good look at it; pay attention to every detail.
When you are ready, take it by the hand and let it in. Sit by the fire and allow it to tell its story. Allow any emotions you are feeling to flow. Explain your view of things, realizing that this part of you is not bad or evil, as you may (or may not) have perceived it. Extend your hands towards it and allow a loving, healing white light from your heart and the heart of your guide surround you both. When you are ready, embrace your shadow; be at one with it. Once you are done, allow your consciousness to come back to your body. Take a few deep breaths, slowly open your eyes and come back. You may now visualize the cycle of energy from the earth ending with a last intake and visualize the roots shrinking back into nothing. Take a few minutes before doing anything else and reflect on your experience.
You may experience many emotions and memories come back after your meditation and in the days that follow. This is normal. Simply acknowledge and learn from them and move on.
I kept this meditation as general as possible because I want you to adapt it to your needs. I hope it helps. As you become whole and integrate your shadow, you will be able to use more of your faculties, hence owning more your own power. Be whole, be healed, be happy. Until we meet again I bid you farewell. Love and light.
Roman Delgado is a Reiki Master, shaman and traveler in the path of life.
Copyright © 2006 by the article's author