Transformation by Fire

article

by Paul Stephens

The year was 1971 ... I was a young man full of passion for a new way of life that I had never known. I approached the coal bed with all the fear that was normal. I knew that the coals were over 1000 degrees. I was taught that this would burn me and yet I was sure the rules I had learned about fire were somehow going to be suspended. I was going to step into the coals and walk across them. As I stood in front of that hot fire, the man in my head -- so logical, so scientific -- was screaming at me ... but the fire was beckoning me. I stepped forward into the soft coals and they crunched like snow under my feet. I didn't feel the burning that I had feared. I walked the glowing trail of red and stepped off at the other end.

Deb, my high priestess, was waiting with her arms outstretched and I gladly hugged her. I couldn't feel my feet. As the cold water washed over my feet, I began to feel them again. They were stinging -- from the cold of the water, not the heat of the fire. I had walked the hot coals and was transformed in the process. I remember Deb telling me that I was a powerful man. I remember that she was proud of me. I remember that I was proud of myself...and also a little scared, as I realized that now that I had walked on fire without harm, there was nothing I couldn't do.

Fast-forward to September 10, 2005 -- my 55^th birthday. It was my turn to be Deb. About twenty of us worked together to build a fire. We stacked the wood three layers deep, first along the outside like rails and then across those rails. I remembered doing all of this before. The people I was connected with through the transformation of the fire so many years ago were again with me, in spirit. We blessed the sacred flame and lit it, then lit our torches from this blessed source. This fire was a bit over twelve feet long and over three feet wide. The flames whipped over our heads and I spoke to the fire.

This was not my fire, though I wanted to walk it with everything that was inside me. This fire was for my students. Would they choose to live life, or choose safety and comfort? I could tell they had already been affected by what they had learned in the seminar held earlier in the day. They were stronger, more introspective individuals. As the fire burned into the night sky, we listened to our instructor. Fire tenders raked the fire, making sure that the coals were spread evenly and that the larger pieces of burning wood were on the outside of the bed of coals to keep them warm.

We rose from our seats and approached the glowing bed of red. One of my students came to me and said she thought we were going to meditate to keep from burning our feet. I looked into the fear within her eyes and said, "On this side it is impossible. You must choose what you will do. On the other side, all things are possible. Once again, you must choose what you will do." The first student stood in front of the red bed of heat. She hesitated and then stepped away. The fire was calling her, but her fear was strong. Her fear had been beaten into her with years of emotional abuse. She looked back at the fire and turned to face it. She had heard the call, and now she answered it. Slowly, she approached the coals, cautiously stepped onto the fire bed and placed one foot in front of the other. With each step, her face changed. It wasn't an expression of pain, but an expression of the pride that was growing inside her as she conquered her fears and continued her walk across the fire bed. She stepped off the bed of coals and into my arms. As other participants hosed her feet with cool water, she sobbed in my ear "I did it! I did it!" I told her, "I knew you could, I knew you would, and I am proud of you!"

Each of my four students walked the fire. I was equally proud of each and every one of them. At the end of the night, after each of them had walked the fire several times, I was able to take my place in line and walk across the fire of transformation, and share in their sense of pride. We had joined the club of those who have walked the fire, learned the lessons and undergone the transformation. We are now fire walkers. We have done the impossible.

Our fire walk was held in Seattle, where I live, work, and teach. Our instructor traveled from North Carolina to teach us the lessons of the fire and how to walk over those hot coals. I thank her for the gifts she brought on my birthday. Fire walking has bestowed its gifts on us both and although our experiences are unique, we share the conscious act of stepping into harm's way, believing that no harm would come to us and being better people for it. As a teacher, I have come full circle from the day I shared my walk with my own teacher long ago. I am thankful that the Lord and Lady allowed me to share that walk with my students in turn. I am proud to connect with people who are this dedicated to a path that asks the impossible, and then teaches us that what seems impossible at one end of a path is easy at the other end.

The transformation each person experiences through fire walking is as unique as each fire. For me, the fire burned away the fear that was left by a molestation that happened when I was a very young boy. Taking those steps showed me there was nothing that was impossible. I learned that there is no "trick" in doing the things that we do as Craft practitioners. I learned it is not faith or belief that allows us to control our lives; it is courage and conviction that empowers us. I learned that we tell ourselves that things are impossible because we're afraid to risk doing them.

One of those who walked the fire was the daughter of one of my students. At thirteen, she was flunking classes and thinking about quitting school. Her life has changed. She is now getting a GPA near 3.0, and some of her grades are As. She helps more around the house and has learned that while life is not always easy, it is worth the work. Her step-dad, who also walked the fire, has come to realize all stuff happening in his life that seemed so bad just a few weeks before is merely a small amount of debris that he can step over. He and his stepdaughter have formed a bond that is unshakable. The smile that comes across their faces when I bring up the fire walk is remarkable.

One of my students had been in an abusive marriage and had little self-respect. She was constantly angry with her two-year-old boy, who tried to bully her the same way his father had. Since she walked the fire, she has regained control of her life. Not only has she learned self-respect, but she is also teaching it to her son. She has begun a two-year degree course in business and is doing well at it. I am proud of her.

There were others at the fire, including a group from the Forest Moon Grove and some individuals who were there to just challenge themselves. One was an acquaintance that is normally a private individual, but was on such a high after the fire walk that she called me twice in the following week. She has taken great pride in her accomplishment and her children are proud of her even though they still think she is crazy for doing it.

What is crazy about walking barefoot across a twelve-foot path of red-hot glowing coals? It is not crazy; it is impossible. And by doing the impossible, transformation is achieved.

Paul Stephens is high priest of the Temple of Water and Stone. He is also co-founder of Arratu (a Sumerian tradition), executive director of the Coalition Of Alternative Spiritual Teaching (COAST) and a member of both the Covenant Fellowship and CASA.