article
by Anda Powers
Sometimes, it's just not fair. The list of Christian churches in your city is longer than your hand -- at least one for every denomination. There's even a synagogue and a Buddhist temple within driving distance. But here you are, a solitary pagan, without even a mention in the white pages. You know that there are other pagans around, so there must be clergy somewhere. Unfortunately, pagans have survived by hiding for so long that the disappearing act comes a little too naturally. Where's a priestess when you need one?
If you are a solitary, or if you belong to a small circle that is not led by clergy, you are used to doing without. Your independence is commendable, and a sign of strength. However, there are times when you may want clergy to officiate or assist you. If you are being handfasted or holding a Wiccaning for a child, you might want clergy. You may be holding a particularly advanced ritual that you don't feel comfortable leading. You might be searching for a mentor, or someone to counsel you while taking your beliefs into account.
Before you can choose a clergyperson, you must first find them. Beat the bushes. Talk to other pagans you know. Check online resources -- pagan networking sites like Witchvox, or pagan personals. Search for covens or circles and contact the clergy associated with them. If you're really having trouble, you may go as far as confronting a person you believe to be pagan, and asking if they know any local priests. Or, e-mail the Webmaster of your favorite pagan Web sites, especially if they are produced in your state.
Chances are, no matter how isolated your community is, you will shake out at least two clergy members. From there, it is your responsibility to make an educated decision regarding which one to turn to. The sad but true fact is that the pagan community often does not closely monitor clergy. Just as you will find wackos claiming to be salespeople or police officers, you will find some posing as pagan clergy. Why? The unmonitored priesthoods are easy to join, or say you've joined; there's power and authority involved; it's a good platform to use when preying on women and children or running financial scams. On top of that, some clergy are just not what you and I think they should be. While they may not be actively trying to cause trouble, their lack of knowledge, experience, respect or responsibility can lead to big problems.
So, before you settle down with one person, meet with them all and evaluate them. Meet in a neutral, public place, for safety's sake. Bring a pad of paper, pen, and a copy of the ritual you would like to perform, or a list of introductory questions to segue into counseling sessions. Pay attention to subtle details and don't be afraid to take notes on their appearance, mannerisms and responses to questions. In all fairness, you should let them know that this is an interview and does not mean that you've chosen to work with them.
Remember, pagan clergy should be:
· Respectful to everyone, whether they agree with their ideas or not.
· Reasonably knowledgeable in all aspects of faith.
· Aware of the things they don't know, and willing to learn.
· Responsible.
· Punctual.
· Appropriately dressed.
· Prepared.
· Able to make eye contact.
· Willing to compromise.
· Caring, compassionate and sincere.
Pagan clergy should never:
· Harrass, threaten or insult anyone, either to their face or in their absence.
· Pressure you into joining a coven or making a life decision.
· Tell you that your beliefs are wrong.
· Make sudden sexual advances toward you.
· Offer you drugs.
· Charge an exorbitant amount for services.
· Ignore your wishes, concerns or questions.
· Refuse to negotiate or discuss a situation.
· Pull rank to get you to submit to his or her wishes.
· Act disgusted by your problems or needs.
If you think a clergyperson in your area is doing something illegal, by all means, report it. If you are simply uncomfortable around the person, or unsure of his or her intentions; move on. For every creep, there are five good, honest, hardworking clergy members waiting to help you.
So, what if none of those five live in your area? If you have exhausted your resources and still haven't found anyone to officiate or assist, you may have to accept Plan B. One option is to do it yourself. If the ritual seems too complex for you, rewrite or rework it until it is manageable. If you are afraid that you are not skilled or experienced enough, take an honest look at yourself. Pray for guidance, consult the Tarot, or meditate to join with your spirit guide. Chances are, a bit of confidence will go a long way.
Your other option is the Friends and Family Plan. If the situation is something that you cannot or will not officiate, such as a handfasting, look to your loved ones. If you have pagan friends that you trust, ask them how they feel about participating. Even non-pagans may be comfortable stepping up to the task. If it still seems a little daunting, consider breaking the ritual up and asking a few individuals to each perform a part. Sharing the responsibility will make it easier. But, do make sure that they are well-organized.
Whatever your situation, remember that clergy are servants of the people. They take on the role in order to help others, not to have power over others. Do not expect clergy to solve your problems for you. They will simply try to help you figure out how to solve them yourself. In doing so, they do you a tremendous service. They help you to grow. That is, if they ever come out of the woodwork.
Copyright © 2006 by the article's author